Thursday, May 28, 2009

Faith- My journey to gain permission for UK study!

What is Faith? It is not a confidence. It is not a believe on yourselves. That is depends on how much your belief on HIM? Is whether your heart will listen to positive things or negative things? Faith is not come from 1 or 2 day, 1 week or 2 weeks, 1 month or 2 months, that is practice from year to year and to make you to decide within 1 second or 2 seconds for your future.

Most assuredly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do he will do also; and greater works than these he will do, because I go to My Father (John 14:12)
As you know that, my first version testimony regarding how I continue my study from my secondary school and how I learning English start from zero. After that, my second version testimony is about finally I finished my Diploma in Public Relations.
Sometime, I will still wondering how I graduated my diploma and Advanced Diploma in Public Relations. Haha: ) this is because can you imagine my English level is like the primary school and able to graduated in Advanced Diploma, and some more is in Merit level. I can’t believe on it. One of the classmate, she got 10 A in SPM and almost all my classmate their English level is A1 and at least credit (3B) but they still get the same level with me, that is Merit. Haha: ) Amazing right! For my SPM, I got 8E nia, which able to cause me to celebrate der. Haha: )

Now I want to share with you all is about “the journey- how to get my parents approver and finally success to continue my study in UK from May 2006 till May 29, 2009”.

In 2006, I already have the planning to further my study in UK to get my degree, but I know well my parents 100% sure not allow me. Why? The reasons are because I’m girl and it is not so proper if a girl studies too much (refer to version 1). Since I already know the result or conclusion that maybe I cannot go UK but I’m still want to guess and appreciate every single opportunity which it might change the conclusion. Thus, in 2006 I start to save RM100 per month from my monthly expenses until I finished my Advanced Diploma, where in my first year advanced diploma I got the internship salary RM 400 per month I also never use it. So, can you imagine how I save my money?

# Where I put my money? Sure is in Bank. The reason is I can get the “little interest” from Bank. How I bank in for every month? God’s plan! One of my housemate (Ms Abby), she works in Bank, thus every beginning of the month; surely I’ll pass to her.

Now, I want to share the interesting part where how I go through and get the agreement from my parents. My parents are also my Bank. Haha: )
The story start from the December 2008, because the time is pass over super fast and that is the time I need to decide whether I want to further my study or not and I need to pay for the UK deposit for 300 pound and RM 200 (almost 2k). At that moment, it’s only cost my 2 to 3 days to thinks. Why I need to think since I so desperate want to further my study in UK? The problem is not about the 2k but is 30k. 2k is not a problem for me where I already starting to save my money since 2006. If I pay the 2k and I failed to get my parents approve, then my 2k is gone where it is not a major problem but is my UK study’ s dream.

What can I do in that moments where my parents are still not encourage me to further my study in UK? I just paid for the deposit 2k. (In my heart, if I paid for the 2k at least I still have 50% changes to go UK).

In January 2009, my problem become bigger, it is like a snow ball, where I haven’t settle my thing then exam is coming to find me already. Haiz…during the exam, I’m not worried for my exam but I worry for my UK study. So, for the 2 hours in exam hall, what I thinking is I must do my best and score the highest mark. But after the 2 hours exam over, automatically UK dream come over again in my mind. (Therefore, I need to think 2 things in my study season and exam season, 1 is score and another 1 is UK).

After I finished my exam, I went back Sabah to celebrated Chinese New Year (February) and gather with my parents, sister and naught brother. Before the Chinese New Year, I starting to ask my parents about my UK study, but every time my parents sure only give me one word, that is “NO”, you see my parents so good and give the clear answer. But some time, they will over 100 sentences, because they will talk for whole day or even until few days. WHY you need to go UK? Is’t you must go UK? Why you MUST MUST go UK mer? Without it you cannot get the job mer? (Can you imagine whole day the conversation between your parents and you are just 1 topic).
Apart from that, I had my final plan about I want to get the loan from KOJADI (which it is the register loan shark that cost 8% to 9% interest) and the due date is 12 Feb 2009, but my parents still not agree and even do not want give the signature for the loan. My final way is gone! No More Hope der.

At that moment, I really feel No lor, No lor, No lor, and I need to say Bye UK, don’t miss me UK! (I cannot stand for it already). Within the second, one of my friends (Ps Monica) calling me, and she ask about my UK staff like how your finance, settle already and so on. And I told her my current situation, she asked me to pray and give me a lot of precise advice. Then, my Faith is coming back and visits me again.

Prayer is intensifies the seed of faith to grow into mountain- moving faith that can increase your level of faith like the mountain.

I talk to myself, “NEVER MIND, just go ahead, DON”T WORRY, just go ahead, DON’T SCARED, just go ahead”. The result will come out on MAY 2009 (whether I able to further my study or not).

In March 2009, I need to buy the air ticket to come back KL to attend the UK class, if not, I cannot flight to UK. The attendant is compulsory. HOW? Another problem again, how I going to settle it?

What I can remember is one of my lecturer told me that, you must come back KL to attend the class, no matter what is happen and what is the technique I going to use. From Mr C.

This is what I learned from my course; prepare the final plan/ extra plan. At the beginning, I had speak honestly to my parents that I need to come back KL to attend the UK class and it is compulsory. But they said cannot, no need go back KL so rush but just go back on June 2009. So my respond is WHAT, on June, my entire classmate flight to UK lor (speak in my heart).

Then I must use my final plan and this is sure 100% ok one. What is the plan, it is not a plan actually that is a romance story. Haha: )
I talked to my mum by saying that actually I got boy friend already in KL, we just start since December 2008, and both of us are so loving and caring with each others. So it is not that good for a new couple to separate for 5 months. In the beginning, she is not believe so I need to find some one (my best friend) to be my boy friend for 4 months before I fly to UK. After that, I called my friend (Mr A) to talk to my mum, and the conversation is really funny, which I also can’t stand for it. Haha: )
After that, she believe on it and my mum allow me come back KL der. Finally, I’m able to attend the UK class for 2 weeks in College. In between, I had consulted with my lecturer (Ms L), and I told to her my situation and she willing to call and talk to my mum. I really appreciate her help.

After I finished attended my UK class for 2 weeks in KL, means I need to find another way to get money, that is I started to do the research on study loan which offer from Bank. Unfortunately, I cannot able to get even 1 Bank, because of few reasons, interest to high der, not enough time to get loan. Haiz..
At the same time, I need to pay for the Air ticket’s deposit RM 300, once again I paid it by faith saying that never mind, just pay. One day, suddenly my mum called me and asked regarding the finance then I just let her know that I’m finding Bank but I can’t get it. In unexpectedly, my parents ask me to go back SABAH and have the final discussion and to settle the financial problem
Thus, I go back Sabah again, this time (on March 2009) they still not so encourage me again for UK study, but my “last card” is I ask my lecturer talk to my mum. This skill is very efficient and super geng. “1 storm really can get the bird” means without wasted.
In the next day, one of my auntie (Ms F) come and visit my mum and saying that actually girl is really no need to study too much, because a girl just married, she will become other people’s daughter already. It is not worth. This time Ms F speak in front of me, automatically I speaks louder and offend her idea. In the same time, she asked me do not study too high and just work in the Bank (SPM level, in Sabah branch). Sure I don’t want.

Time pass very fast, April is coming where I still do not have money and I need to pay for the air ticket der. How I going to pay? This time my parents help me to pay for it. I‘m really surprise and can’t believe it. Just suddenly! And my father is rushing me to renew my passport as soon as possible, where I’m still wondering want to renew or not (because I do not have money for UK study yet, 30K, is not 3k).
Anyway, I still need to fight for the UK study. May 2009 is coming, money I still do not have, and don’t know where I can get it?

I think in the history for TAR College, I’m the first person who do not have money but still need to further study in oversea. (Can you imagine, now is already May 2009 and end of the month I need to flight to UK already). In my heart, Money where are you? Are you losing? Almost every night I pray to God, should I continue my study? If this is Your view, then give me money on beginning of May 2009, if You do not provide me money, then I would not go UK. This time, I totally surrender my UK study to God, just put FAITH on Him. Believe on Him! For me, nothing loses if I surrender to God.

Sometime, I pray until I fall in sleep and continue in the next morning when I wake up. It is sound funny right. Haha: ) How come I can fall in sleep while I talking to God, because everyday I need to clean house, help my parents’ business until 745pm, then reach home at 8pm, bath and take dinner, after that, I need to do my UK homework (read the journals and do the plan) it is not so easy like SPM, pls fill in the blank, it is about creativity, analysis and critical thinking.

9 May is my housemate wedding day (Ps Monica), where I need to faster settle my finance for UK study so that I just able to flight back KL and attend her wedding dinner. Besides, I had register and paid for church camp in Rawang on 12 until 16 May 2009.

1 May 2009, I ask my leader (Mr Caleb) help me buy the air ticket without asking permission from my parents. I just buy it. By Faith without thinking of waste money if I cannot flight back KL.

One day, I just realize that now is MAY already, but I haven’t got the money yet, how? God, give me money so that I able to join the camp and attend the dinner. Next day, my father give me RM 20k check and my mum give me 10k cash, they are different, mother like cash more than check and my father like check more than cash. Hahaha: ) so happy at that time, but I wondering why I feel like something wrong, because I can’t said anything and feel extreme happy. At that moment, I just feel touching and thankful to God and my parents. THANK YOU SO MUCH! It is really touching!
I got the money on 5 May, and my flight is on 7 May. That’s means I able to attend Ps Monica wedding dinner and ceremony and able to join Church Camp and also able to Flight to UK. Hahahahahaa: )

Within this few month, I realize that I ‘m growing, experience the real meaning of “Faith”, and understand the term “perseverance”- fight until the end. This is because we really do not know what is going to happened in next second, even next month, 6 months later. Miracle is happening always.

My flight is on 30 May 2009 at 335am, and I need to go airport at 29 May 2009 at 10pm later. Means my UK dream is going to fulfill. Thanks God, my parents, my lecturers and my dearest friends. Without your help, I’m nothing.
For instance, David Beckham, he is a professional player for football but if he never get a help and without support by other members in the team, he is nothing.
# Put God’s kingdom first, He will guide you and bless you for eternally, no matter what you doing!From here, how many times I fell down, I faces the difficulties in my study life and how I over come the fear? I believe through my testimony, you can clearer understand what the meaning by “Faith” is.
By Faith, I can ask the Mountain to go into the sea!

Ladies and gentlemen,
Success would not come so easier, but it would come after you do feel pain for several times. It comes when you pray, seek and ask from Him.
Anyway, I’m going to UK soon and I’m going to miss you already. Haha: )

1 comment:

Happy walker said...

wow... interesting journey... >.<

人生总有一段路特别难走

人生总有一段路特别难走, 抱怨没用,因为时间不会为你停留。 哭泣没用,因为他人不会替你承受。 若你后退,看你笑话的人挺多, 若你往前,才有机会证明自己, 生活没有一滴汗是白流的, 人没有一段路是白走的, 身在低谷,依然要仰望天空。 路过黑夜,依然要期待阳光, 万般皆苦,唯有自渡。...